


Dark Chocolate

by Bubbly_Kandy



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: AU where Vanitas lives in the Wayfinders castle like the little stray cat he is, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Minor Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), ONE use of the word horny but i swear this fic is gen, They're both bastards, Vanitas Swears (Kingdom Hearts), Vanitas doesn't know what candy is (asmr), Vanitas-centric (Kingdom Hearts), i just think they would be neat together, i know vanitas isnt this dumb in canon but hear me out, its cute, love riku. king, vanitas says gay rights but not around me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28035765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbly_Kandy/pseuds/Bubbly_Kandy
Summary: Vanitas was perfectly content with not knowing what the little foil-wrapped things were. Vanitas didn't know a lot of things, but that was fine, because most things were useless and tended to clog up dumb people's minds, and Vanitas was not dumb, thank you very much. He was probably the smartest fuckin' guy in the room, half if not all the time.ORVanitas voice// y'all eat your chocolate with the skin on?
Relationships: Riku & Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (mentioned)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Dark Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this thinking it would be a drabble. That ended up not being the case.

Out of all the things Vanitas hated, he figured food wasn't that far up there. There were other, much more important things to hate, like the Wayfinders and all their dumb friends and the Light and dogs- seriously, _fuck_ dogs- and the color white and the color yellow and yadda yadda yadda. He had a list, written out on a napkin because fuck paper too, it hurt him once and Vanitas wasn't one to forgive and forget. He rather resented and remembered, something Aqua told him he should let go of but really she was just a hypocrite because she sure did _remember_ and _resent_ that about him. 

Seriously, though, food wasn't that bad. Vanitas didn't _like_ it, by any means, because sometimes it was too hot or too cold or messy and sticky, but Vanitas didn't despise it. If anything, he hated the act of eating more, because eating meant he had to be in the presence of Terra and Aqua and Ventus, and they made him sit at a _table_ and _talk,_ like he was domesticated or some shit. 

Vanitas couldn't be tamed. He was an eternal fuckin' flame, baby.

Still, he couldn't blame the food for being made and consumed by a trio of incompetent idiots. It wasn't the food's fault. Vanitas wasn't one to hold a grudge against something for not being able to control something. Really, he even felt bad for it, especially when it was Terra's turn to cook. _Nothing_ should be subjected to how that moron made food. Abominable. 

(Ventus was okay. Aqua was good too.)

(Don't tell anyone he said that.)

One thing Vanitas didn't get about food, though, was those weird little foil-wrapped things that seemed to spawn inside Sora and Ventus' pockets. _Seriously_ , they were everywhere. The foil was brightly-colored, enough to burn Vanitas' fuckin' eyes, and sometimes when he was snooping around (don't tell Ventus) he would see gag-inducing cardboard boxes with cartoony animals plastered all over with more of the foil-wrapped things inside of it. 

He was _not_ going to ask Ventus what they were, because he had made _that_ mistake once. Now he couldn't even look at a goddamn Gummiphone without flashing back to how Ventus' eyes had gotten all weird and soft and how he _laughed_ at Vanitas, deadass, he had the _gall_ to laugh in Vanitas' fucking face just because he didn't know what the damn thing was called. 

_"It's called a Gummiphone, Vani."_ Fuck off.

He had absolutely no desire to ask Sora, either, because while Ventus got all gross and soft and mushy, Sora would get _excited_. Vanitas was too tired to even _think_ about Sora half the time because the kid was just too damn energetic. He almost felt bad for Sora's mom or whoever the hell took care of the little light demon when he was a kid. _Almost._

Vanitas was perfectly content with not knowing what the little foil-wrapped things were. Vanitas didn't know a lot of things, but that was fine, because most things were useless and tended to clog up dumb people's minds, and Vanitas was _not_ dumb, thank you very much. He was probably the smartest fuckin' guy in the room, half if not all the time.

\---

It was, surprisingly, Riku who told him what the little things were.

See, Vanitas actually kind of liked Riku. Of course, there were a lot more things he hated about the kid, like the way he just _decided_ to walk out of the Darkness and back into the dumb Light all because Sora got a little teary-eyed and sniffly about it, but Riku wasn't that bad. He was quiet, something _very_ uncommon with the people Vanitas had to deal with all the time, but he wasn't quiet in a stupid way. He was quiet because he listened. He was smart. 

Didn't stop him from getting all dumb and giggly and shit around Sora, but it was whatever. As long as he was around someone who could actually _think_ , Vanitas could deal with the puppy love or horniness or whatever the hell it was called. 

They were sitting on top of the Wayfinders' castle, because even though they were nauseating and dumb as sheep they still had a fuckin' _awesome_ house. Their legs were dangling off the gutter and into the night, stars twinkling above them in a way that always made Vanitas feel... not terrible. It was really nice, actually.

...Oh, God, was he going _soft_?

Vanitas' horrible realization was cut short by Riku lightly knocking ( _punching_ , it was a _punch_ , Vanitas was **_not_ ** going soft) his shoulder, his hand closed into a fist around something.

"Fuck you want?"

"Here," Riku said, opening his fist and revealing one of those foil-wrapped things. "Want one?" 

Vanitas shrugged, and Riku dropped it in his lap. He then dug around in his pocket and pulled out another one as Vanitas picked his up, looking at it closely. It was light blue, with even lighter blue lines squiggling their way around the package like little Light-faring worms. There was a hard ball in the middle, something that didn't give even if Vanitas pressed down on it. The foil was cool against his fingers, with two edges cut in a wavy pattern- Vanitas found himself brushing the ridges against his palm. 

The problem? He didn't know what the _fuck_ to do with it. 

He knew there was something in there- the hard ball proved that, along with the fact that he'd seen the foil opened, but he'd never been there to _watch_ it be opened before. He never stuck around long enough to see how when they came out, but he wasn't _dumb_ , goddammit, he could figure it out on his own. He discreetly looked over at Riku, to see what he did with his.

Riku's foil-thing was unopened in his hands, and he was looking at Vanitas expectantly. 

Fuck.

He knew it was food. He knew that. He also knew that some foods had their own skin around them, which you could eat. Sometimes. Did you eat the skin on these? 

Could you even _eat_ foil?

Riku cleared his throat. _Shit_. Vanitas was taking too long. He had a 50/50 chance of getting out of here without embarrassment, and Vanitas wasn't one to lose. He was a winner, goddammit.

He shoved the foil-wrapped thing in his mouth.

Riku burst out laughing.

 _... Damn_. 

Vanitas spit the foil thing out into his hands, immediately regretting it as the part with the most spit on it landed on his hands first. _Eugh._ His cheeks and ears started to feel uncomfortably warm. He was _not_ going to think about what that meant. 

Riku was still laughing, cackling his damn ass off with his back against the castle roof. Vanitas had half a mind to shove him off the roof right then, but then that would mean he would lose the only intelligent one on the team _plus_ Sora's impulse control, so he was merciful. For now. 

Didn't stop him from punching Riku in the stomach, though. He smirked as the kid's laughter was cut off by a wheeze. Now _that_ was funny. 

"Do-" Riku asked, out of breath but regaining it slowly, "Do you not know-?"

"Yes, I do!" Vanitas snapped, making a move to nail him in the stomach again. Riku rolled away, protecting his organs from Vanitas' fist. “I was just-" _Shit, what was a good excuse?_ "Just, uh... trying out a new way to eat it." _T_ _here_. 

Riku laughed again, and Vanitas was _this_ close to resigning himself to the hyperactive puppy that was Sora on the loose when Riku cleared his throat, forcing away any more laughter. He was still grinning, though. Asshole.

"You don't eat the _foil_ , dude," Riku said needlessly. Vanitas could tell by his reaction, thank you. He wasn't _dumb_. 

"Wasn't going to," Vanitas scoffed, and... 

He was back on square one. Damn.

Alright, new plan. Vanitas looked back at the (inedible) foil skin, his attention now being drawn to the little ridges that adorned both sides. He spun the thing around so the ridges were facing up, pushing and pulling experimentally until a rip formed, opening the foil up and revealing a light brown ball. He popped the ball in his mouth, side-eyeing Riku (who _still_ hadn't opened his own foil thing), and-

Well, fuck any previous grudges against the foil thing. This shit was _good_. It was sweet (something Vanitas liked, actually. He liked sweet things a lot), but there was a underlying sharpness to it that stung the back of Vanitas' throat pleasantly. It was slowly melting, due to the heat of his mouth. He really, _really_ liked it. 

"It's chocolate." Riku's voice cut through the life-changing experience Vanitas was having, and good _God_ , that was such a Light dweller word. _Choc-late_. Give him a break.

"I know," Vanitas said, carefully storing the word away in his mind. He looked over at Riku, who was now reclining comfortably, using his hand to keep himself propped up. "Do you... have another one?" Fuck the way that asking made him feel like a beggar, he wanted more of those little shits. 

"Yeah," Riku said, then tossed him one that he had already been holding. He **_still_ ** hadn't eaten his own. "Sora doesn't like dark chocolate all that much. He says it's too bitter."

Aha! So that was why Vanitas liked it so much. 

"Makes sense." He tore the foil open, much more smoothly than the last time, and popped it in. 

"Yeah," Riku said again, this time in a way that made Vanitas look over at him- 

-and watch as Riku put the foil in his mouth, clamping his teeth down and pulling on the foil to forcibly remove the chocolate from it's wrapper. Then, he made direct eye contact with Vanitas, and _smirked_.

Mother _fucker_ , Vanitas was going to kill him.

**Author's Note:**

> Love Vanitas. Dumbass
> 
> I was almost going to go into a more angsty direction and mention Xehanort and all, but then I decided to just keep it fluffy aksdhkas
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!!! Please leave a kudos/comment if you wish!
> 
> Have a lovely day/night!! <3


End file.
